Shatter Me
by The Dark Goddess Kari
Summary: What if it hadn't happened like that, that night when Sirius died? What if everybody else didn't walk away? What if Voldemort got the prophecy? And Harry Potter? AU
1. Breaking

A/N: Alright

A/N: Alright! This is a three-shot (I hope) that came to me while I was experiencing writers block for As we would have. No it will not take over. Warning: disgusting amounts of angst.

Shatter Me: Chapter 1: Breaking

He stared at the wall. That's all he did now. He didn't even scream. When his mind was searched there was nothing but fear. Nothing coherent, no actual thought or memory. He was gone. Broken. And it had all started that night. When he had killed them.

Broken.

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"Very good, Potter. Now turn around, nice and slowly, and give that to me."

He was hit with a sudden wave of pain, as though his mind was trying to force him to hand it over. At the same time he was hit with a very strong imperio by Bellatrix. The combined force almost crushed his mind. And then he didn't know who he was- why he was not handing it over- his body seemed out of his control he watched as his hand reached out and placed the sphere in Malfoy's hand. His mouth worked by itself as the words came in his voice.

"That worked rather well don't you think? I mean they never once suspected…" he laughed. The death eaters laughed with him.

"I mean it look at their faces! It almost makes up for having to put up with their whining…"

"Harry I know that isn't you. You've fought him before you can do it again! Please Harry I have faith in you." Hermione said.

"Yea mate come on! Kick them out of your mind." Ron added.

"He can't do it. The nargles told me. It isn't just an imperius. Do try not to break later Harry. If you got through it might make our deaths worth it…" Luna piped up.

"What? Death? No Luna I think that you're a little confused. Harry wouldn't kill us. Come on Harry fight th…" Ginny's words trailed of as she glimpsed Harry's eyes. They gleamed red.

"You're right little weasel. He wouldn't. I would. Avada Kedavra!" Harry's voice said. "Bellatrix you have the honor of torturing Longbottom. Collect the whole set. But… nobody touch the blond one. Take her back."

"Fight them Harry. I know you can." Hermione whispered, tears in her eyes.

'_I'm trying_' Harry thought, desperately trying to break his mind free before anything else happened. He mentally clawed at the imperius and finally it fell away. But not before his mouth moved again.

"Avada Kedavra." Ron. "Avada Kedavra." Hermione. "Now move! The Order is coming… and stupefy me."

"Yes my lord. Stupefy."

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Lord Voldemort walked boldly into Harry's cell. He was flanked with two death eaters, which seemed pretty unnecessary, considering that Harry was chained to a wall, wandless and bleeding. But Voldemort had been like that ever since he heard the prophecy. Not that he'd told Harry what it said. It wasn't like the prophecy concerned Harry at all! The fact that Harry was so delirious made him laugh at his tiny use of sarcasm.

"What? Why is he _laughing_? What happened? Burn him!" Voldemort, paranoid as usual, hissed. That was all he ever did. Hiss. It was like he was a robot. Harry giggled again as the flesh of his foot melted away. _Paranoid Volderoid_. Ha-Ha. Then the pain signals final made their sluggish way to his brain and he had to remind himself to scream. There the fear signals had reached too! _Fear_.

"Much better." Voldemort said in a satisfied way.

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"I'm here to tell you the contents of the prophecy and to make an offer, which may save your pathetic life." Voldemort said one day when he came down. And he began to recite.

"The one with the power to vanquish the dark lord approaches. Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies. And the dark lord shall mark him as his equal, but he shall have power the dark lord knows not. And either must die at the hands of the other for neither can live while the other survives. The one with the power to vanquish the dark lord shall be born as the seventh month dies."

"Now I give you a choice. Break within the year, or I shall kill you as the prophecy dictates I should.

Harry was confused for a moment and then felt slightly betrayed. Dumbledore had to know! And yet he hadn't informed Harry. Some of Harry's resolve fell away right then. He had put his faith into Dumbledore, and been betrayed. Now he would no longer hold out to protect Dumbledore. He was running out of people to protect. He was weakening.

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He was afraid even before Voldemort started down the hallway. The noise of people walking down to the dungeon echoed, and noise meant pain. Pain and fear. That was all his life had become. Oh and guilt. Almost 7 months of hearing that he could have pushed off the curse, that he just hadn't _tried_ hard enough, that he had _wanted_ to kill them had taken its toll.

Sometimes there was fear even when he heard no noise. Because that just meant they were coming soon.

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"How is he still alive?" he remembered hearing one of the new guards ask Macnair in amazement. "I checked the amount of blood in his body today and there is virtually nothing!"

"Magic." Macnair had answered, and they both cracked up laughing. Inside his cell, Harry giggled, and they immediately sent someone in to check one him. Presumable because it had sound like his lungs were collapsing when he giggled.

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Bella came down once. Harry huddled against the wall he was chained to as best he could with the chains so tight he couldn't sit. He felt a blinding striking panic in his gut, some animalistic instinct that he needed to get out _right then_. He felt like a caged, once powerful, but now helpless tiger. And then he saw the body floating behind her. Sandy-brown hair- amber eyes- shabby clothes- oh no. Moony. Someone else he no longer needed to protect. Like in that muggle song. _Another one bits the dust_.

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Fear. They brought another body down a few weeks later. He saw it was Tonks. He didn't care much. He was too afraid to care about others. Then again a couple weeks later- little did Harry know it, but it was reaching close to a year- they brought down McGonagall. He didn't recognize her. He didn't understand speech when they tried to tell him who it was. He just felt pure, true terror. When one of them reached for his wand to levitate McGonagall back out, Harry cried out in fear. No words- he just screamed an unadulterated sound that came from nature.

The death eaters in the room glanced at each other and then they ran up and out of the dungeon to tell their lord the good news. Great news. They had done it.

They had broken Harry Potter.

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They moved him to a big spacious room, with a beautiful bed. They healed him and gave him blood-replenishing potions. He didn't notice. He didn't notice much anymore.

He stared at the wall. That's all he did now. He didn't even scream. When his mind was searched there was nothing but fear. Nothing coherent, no actual thought or memory. He was gone. Broken. And it had all started that night. When he had killed them.

Broken.


	2. Training

Warning: graphic death scene.

Shatter Me: Chapter 2: Training

Harry Potter sat and stared at the wall. He felt only fear when a man came in the room. As usual. The man's red eyes narrowed. Two months after breaking him, Potter still was not reacting to anything that was said to him. He was like a baby. But today would be the breakthrough. The Dark Lord Voldemort reached for his wand and mentally probed Harry's mind. There! There was something a flicker of thought. He slowly raised the wand. Again, there was a flicker. What was it?

'Please….'

Voldemort smirked. The goal was in sight. What would the light side think when they saw what he had planned? Their savoir. Their downfall.

Voldemort realized what day it was as he walked out of the room. Well. That was unbelievably symbolic.

_July 31__st_

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Three months after that faint flicker, the training began. Harry was now having actual, coherent thought and speech. Of course, he only really talked when he was practicing or being taught. Otherwise, what if he said something wrong? What if he was punished? Ah fear.

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Several months into training him, Potter cast his first unforgivable. Ironically, it was the torture curse. Voldemort had discovered that it took much less time to train someone if the punishment for making a mistake was not just a detention, but torture. Harry Potter had re-learnt everything up to his fourth year in seven months. Of course, he was powerful, and he had a good memory. Rather like a smart dog, he had learnt very quickly that doing good meant he was rewarded, and bad meant pain. Pain and fear.

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Eight months. Harry's first dual with an actual, fully grown death-eater. Harry lost. No food for a week and three days with Bellatrix. He won the next dual, even without more training.

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Harry's first dual with an inner circle member. He won. It didn't matter.

"Crucio!" shouted Avery. Harry just rolled out of the way and shot a curse at him.

"Veliustu!"

Avery tried to block it but the ancient curse flew right through his powerful shield. It hit him right above his heart, and at first it seemed like nothing would happen. Then, apparently of their own accord, bits of skin began to rip themselves from his body.

"Aer Obsido." Harry said quietly, pointing to the skin that was still being ripped from Avery. The floating strands of skin wrapped around his head, suffocating him. Avery was dead within minutes.

Voldemort began to walk slowly over Avery's rather… messy remains, towards Harry. Instinctively, Harry flinched.

"Now, now Harry you won! I can't punish you for losing can I?" Voldemort said. Harry just stared and flinched again at the word 'punish'. Voldemort tone got dangerous.

"I asked you a question Harry. You remember what happened last time you didn't answer my questions?" Harry started to nod very quickly.

"Good. So, can I punish you for losing?" slowly, Harry shook his head.

"Actually I can. Don't worry though, I won't. But Harry you did make two mistakes." Harry started to cower and mumble.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

"You used spoken spells, which I believe I have told you not to, and you didn't clean up the mess. At least if you can't kill someone without making a mess, clean it up." Voldemort spoke right over Harry's frantic pleas. "You haven't visited Lucius in a while, I believe. Why not go now. He is waiting in cell 15."

Harry slowly walked towards the torture chambers. He knew that if he didn't go willingly, he would just get tortured worse.

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Harry hadn't lost a dual in several months now. He always cleaned up. He never spoke spells unless it was required. It had been a year since train had started. It was Halloween, which Voldemort had decided fitting for his final test. After all this was the night Harry had become the Light's golden boy. The test was to see if he still cared about anyone that he had before breaking.

They dragged her out of her room. Harry of course knew the rumors. That they hadn't tortured _her_ at all. The two years _she_ had stayed were actual very comfortable, and the worst they did was taunt her. It was his job to kill her. As Voldemort had said, he would kill her or be broken again. To him it was an easy choice, plus the jealousy that she hadn't been hurt at all. Why was it him who was tortured?

Silvery-grey eyes stared at him. "You broke." she said sadly. Harry didn't bother to answer. She didn't understand what he'd been through.

"Avada Kedavra." He said. Luna Lovegood's dreamy eyes slid shut for the last time.

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So R&R! Yes _you_, you people who have it on alert but didn't bother to review. Just kidding but please Please PLEASE review!


	3. Shattering

Shatter Me: Chapter 3: Shattering

A/N: ohhh I really am sad to see this story go. It was fun writing it. Maybe I should write more crazy Harry stories. And about the whole not updating thing, I only write this at my dad's house, and I only go to my dad's house on the weekends. But please enjoy the final installment of Shatter Me!

Shatter Me: Chapter 3: Shattering

"Harry. I want you to kill for me. I want you o never look back, kill anyone that gets in your way, and be quick. No fancy deaths. Your first kill is Horace slughorn. You do not know him, but he is on Dumbledore's side and worked at Hogwarts for a brief period. Do not come back unless he is dead."

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Voldemort was sending him out on another 'mission', as he liked to call them.

"Potter this will be your hardest target yet. What will make it even harder is that I want you to be seen. I want the world to know who is killing their best men. And you have to make it seem like an accident. Here is the information you need." Voldemort handed him a slip of paper.

Harry didn't speak as he read the paper. He had done jobs in Grimmald place before. Of course, the order just thought that there was a spy. The level of irony kept getting higher and higher in his life. After all, it had all started because he wanted to save Sirius. Now he had to kill Sirius. He looked up at Voldemort and nodded.

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The building slid out from between numbers 11 and 13 smoothly. Harry walked up the steps quickly. Normally, he would try to be quiet, as to not set of the alarms, but he knew he could deal with a few Aurors and he wanted to be seen tonight. He walked in the door.

"Sirius!" he called in Molly Wealsey's voice.

A haggard voice answered him. "What? Are you here to yell at me again? It's not my fault that Harry's gone. IT'S NOT MY FAULT! LEAVE ME ALONE!" His godfather's voice went from exhausted to furious quicker than Harry would have thought possible.

"No Sirius… I came to apologize," Harry was completely making it up. He had no idea that they were fighting... at least, that they were fighting about him. Then he dropped the voice charm. He took a deep breath to steady himself. He never looked back. _Don't look back._ It was how he killed everyone. He just forgot who they were.

Sirius looked up at him when he walked into the kitchen. "Oh, hello Harry. Molly is yelling at me again."

Not what Harry had expected. "Aren't you, umm, shocked that I'm here?"

"No, you visit sometimes when I'm asleep. I guess this is a dream too. But molly's still waiting for me. I have to go; I'll be right back Harry."

"I can't let you leave. I'm here to kill you."

"Ok, so this is one of the dreams when you blame me and try to kill me. Well Molly has first dibs on killing me so you have to wait you're turn Harry."

"This isn't a dream Sirius. I really am here. I wished that it was a nightmare for a short time. But that hope died a long time ago. I don't blame you either."

Sirius blinked. "Really? Usually you tell me it's my fault that you died. I could have stopped you if I hadn't been helping buckbeak, you know."

He had to do it before someone else really did show up. The publicity was only supposed to start once he knew he could escape. But Sirius' words… they were so hopeless. They were enrapturing. He needed to though. He pointed his wand between Sirius' eyes. All hell broke lose.

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Shacklebolt was here. So was Molly Weasley, who saw him a promptly fainted into Arthur. Who screamed at the same time as Sprout. God damn it. He was in deep shit.

"Avada Kedavra." he said, and Sirius fell to the ground, not moving. Then he looked at the people gathered around him and quickly noted that Arthur was the weak point, as he was still trying to help Molly. Harry shot out two silent stupefys and made a bee line for Arthur. He dived to the side in shock. He burst out the front door, and saw that the press was already there. Good. This should get the message across.

"Avada Kedavra." Harry said, and he gave a feral grin. Not really his style, but he was playing for the media. One photographer fell, and a few others scattered, but most just crouched in bushes. This was the shot of a life time. Harry flicked his wand, and a rock in front of him became a portkey. Giving a reporter he saw as with Rita Skeeter another toothy smirk, he grabbed it. About eight spells collided where his head had been seconds later.

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_**Potter – The dark lords latest minion?**_

**By, Amanda Beanitrail**

_**Once suspected, and now proved. Potter is on the dark side.**_

**By, Sarah Falvey **

_**Boy-who-lied.**_**  
By, Suzanna Brown**

'_**Hey, I joined the man that killed my parents!' a Harry Potter report. **_

**By, Rita Skeeter**

_**The Dark Mark on Saviors Arm.**_

**By, Ryan Patil**

"_**An imposter? I don't think so." Interview with Albus Dumbledore**_

**By, Rita Skeeter**

_**50,000 gallons to the man who catches Harry Potter!**_

**By, Miles Downes **

_**Fudge is putting all Aurors on the case of Harry Potter!**_

**By, Katie Rorn**

"_**I always thought he looked a little funny…" Interview with a madman's classmate.**_

**By, Suzanna Brown**

"_**I think it was an imposter, mate…" Interview with Dean Thomas**_

**By, Colin Creevey**

_**From orphan to killer, Harry Potters intricate life.**_

**By, Clare ****Finnigan**

_**Sirius Black! Innocent, yet killed by his godson!**_

**By, Miles Downes**

_**Sirius Black, the life of an innocent man in Azkaban.**_

**By, Clare Finnigan **

_**An outbreak of Crumple Horned-Snorkacks!**_

**By, ****Xenophilius**** Lovegood**

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In his cell, Harry was allowed to read the front page. For the next three days, it was covered with pictures of him. Well. Dumbledore had lost faith in him, Colin and Dean still trusted him, and the rest of the world wanted him dead. Joy. He had friends all over.

Finally, on the fourth day, there was a small article about Sirius' death. True, it did talk about him, but it also talked about Sirius. Ten day's later; there was an article that didn't mention him at all. It was by Xenophilius Lovegood though…

He heard Voldemort coming down the hall. He tried once again to break away from his chains, but that never worked. He was always going to be here. He was always going to be tortured…

"Potter, there is an attack today. You will join us. This attack will be what one might call… the end of the war. We are attacking the ministry."

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"Crucio! Avada Kedavra! Soronus! People of the ministry! This is Harry Potter, messenger of Lord Voldemort! I suggest you surrender, because we shall continue to crush everything in out path. If you believe that you can resist us, look at the DMLE. We are currently on the lowest level, and we have destroyed anyone who dared to face us. You have no savoir. You have no leader. Albus Dumbledore is dead, and I am obviously on the dark side." Wow, Harry really hated theatrics, but he was told to make it as flashy as possible. So he continued.

"We have plants ready to kill anyone who tries to leave and fight in every room in this building." Not true, but a little paranoia never hurt anyone. "We have a simple request. Leave the building. We shall not harm you in our new reign, but anyone who resists shall be felled." Ugh. He hated the flashy way he was speaking.

"You have- hey! Avada Kedavra! - you have one hour to evacuate." He flipped the dead body with his shoe. Aw how sad. He killed his best friend's brother. Canceling the soronus charm, he whispered "Sorry Charlie." And laughed at the simplicity of that statement. The death eaters surrounding him backed away. They had heard he was crazy, but this… this was scary. Whipping around, he bared his teeth at the people who had backed off.

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There was war. A cross country battle to be exact. Every resistance team in Britain had teamed up for a last attempt to take down the Dark Lord. It failed. But it hurt the dark lords troops. It was at the end of the battle. A stray Avada Kedavra. It was shot by the dark lord himself. It hit Harry Potter. Voldemort screamed. Little did he know, but Dumbledore had destroyed the rest of his horcruxes Harry's scar was the last horcrux, and Harry's blood was keeping him alive. For him to stay sane, Harry needed to live. It wasn't going to work out. So, Voldemort went really, really fucking crazy. His mind was shattered.

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They had caught Voldemort about a year ago. No matter how hard Bellatrix, who had taken over when Voldemort couldn't, tried to protect him, they still got him. He sat in Azkaban for awhile. It didn't affect him much, as he had no memories- good or bad- for the dementors to bring out. And was already crazier than the craziest person in there.

The attack on the ministry had been a great loss for both sides. Nothing was gained on either side. It was the same as before, except the fact that both side was down a couple hundred troops. The dark side probably could have won, but they left when Voldemort collapsed. The ministry was still in shambles. There was no government, minus the fact that the light still had Azkaban.

Then one day, the dark got the fortress. The light lost. Voldemort was still broken. Bellatrix visited his room sometimes though.

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He stared at the wall. That's all he did now. When his mind was searched there was nothing. Nothing coherent, no actual thought or memory. He was gone. Shattered. And it had all started that night. When Harry had killed them.

Shattered.


End file.
